Beauty School Bothers

So this does apply primarily to being in a school full of women and feminine men, but this can be applied anywhere.

Women need to stop feeling so insecure about themselves and lashing out at other women. It is so ridiculous and so immature. I thought that these childish antics would end as women graduated from high school and entered out into the real world-but, from what I have observed, is that women still bring that "High School Mean Girl Mentality" into the real world and can be even more child like. Not to mention, it is really petty seeing grown women gossiping about a "friend", a coworker, or even a classmate just because they are so insecure in their own bodies that they have to bring down another women just to feel validated.

I'm not going to lie and say that I haven't done this, but I really do try  to be more conscious of what I choose to talk about and who I am around. Everyone should just be happy with themselves. Honestly, every one is beautiful and unique and what isn't great about that? Just because someone looks differently than you, with whatever thought you may be thinking about them, doesn't make them any less beautiful or validated. And if you're doing that to women, do not be surprised when karma comes to bite you right in the booty.

Also how some women are just so needy and self centered and wanting of men's attention. And I get it, having a man attracted to you is flattering, yes, but it's not the most important thing in the world. A male's opinion of you really means nothing compared to you're own opinion of yourself. And when I had my guy friend come in today to get a massage and seeing how all these women immediately started becoming infatuated with him really disgusted me and embarrassed me.

They were talking in such a vulgar and immature way. Saying how "nice his ass looked" and what his name was and how old he was. And most of these women either have boyfriends and kids or are married with kids. It honestly just disgusted me as I was being pressed for questions. Just how did it become that women feel like every man in the universe has to be so focused on them solely for the purpose of feeling good about themselves? And why use such terms about male's body parts in such a nasty way. They made the body just seem like an object.

One of my friends was like, "I just want to massage men now. I like their bodies better and I hate women." It's like, "Sweetheart, stop it. This may be why you have such insecurities about the relationships in your life. Stop it." I love her like a sister, but it just really urked me when she said that and I knew that it was because she loves the attention. It's so sad.

I am just becoming really bothered by more things I am seeing, hearing, reading, and experiencing. This really makes me feel almost disgusted by my own gender in general. And I know that not all women are like this, and I truly appreciate the beautiful women that are not, but how the majority of women are going is really disturbing and inappropriate and are setting up horrible role model material for younger women.

Family First and Growing Up

I always grew up with the words "family first" installed into my mind, though I can't say I always followed it, but I am so thankful that those words were. It resignated with me somewhere, and I can't put a pin point on when exactly it did.

My family is very family oriented-we know that you will always be considered family no matter what happens. Fact of the matter is that you are family. And I love my family above all else, equal to the point of my love for God and myself. They are my support system, my leaders, my followers, my friends, and the people I would do anything for.

I remember when the phrase was simply just another phrase to me. Like an idiom or something you hear "older folk" say when trying to teach the "younglings" a message. I remember either having my friends idolized before my family, or even boyfriends. When I look back on it now, I realize how completely balderdash I was being. People are always entering and leaving your life, and friends and boyfriends, or even girlfriends, can and will leave. Family will always stay. (If you have a "difficult" family relationship, I guess it can be hard to relate. They are family, though they may not act like it, and love you to the best of their abilities, I do believe. Even if some chemical imbalance is in the brain, I do believe that your family will love you the only way they know how. though they may not always show it.)

I am home now, and am so so happy to be home. When my mom and my love picked me up, I was filled with happiness and rushed to hug them both. We went out to breakfast at such a cute and nifty little place, shared stories and laughter, and then went home. It was a long drive, but I had so much fun! As soon as I came home, I hugged everyone and they were all excited to see me as well, all of us squealing and saying "I've missed you" and "So glad you're back". I was able to catch up on what was going on for everyone and tell them my tales.

I also got to give everyone a chair massage-which was well needed for what has been going on here-and they all were able to relax, telling me how good it felt and how proud they were of me.

After picking up groceries for Thanksgiving(so excited!!!) and then went to go see a girl friend of mine. I pulled up and she was just looking at my car like "who is that and why are they parking at my house?" But as soon as she saw me, we were both squealing like ten year old girls who just got their first Barbie Dream House set.

I arrived in a good time, and we talked about what was going on in our lives. She is still in High School, but it's her last year, and she is so ready to be done. I don't blame her, High School was not for me at all.And I told her all my crazy adventures of being off on my own and having to go through what I did. We are definitely going to hang out soon-I need my little partner in crime-and I may be able to get together with a few of my other girl friends from High School(I only had two friends who I hung out with on a regular basis after graduating but c'est la vie). So excited!

I have a week of reconnecting with my past. I'm so blessed. <3