You Are Loved!

This is just a post for any one out there who is feeling kind of low and/or lonely this holiday season.<3

You are so loved! Each and every day, be thankful that you are still alive, that you can live another day. We take the little things in life for granted, but someday, we will realize the little things in life are the biggest gifts.

Think of your family, think of your friends, think of yourself. You are cared about by so many people.

Self love is crucial, and so many of us do not cultivate it within ourselves. Every inch of you is perfectly unique and special and beautiful. Do you know how much your body does to keep you alive and moving each day? It does so many things to make sure that you are taken care of and that you are safe and functioning and healthy. You should appreciate every inch of you, every perfectly created part of you. Self harm does nothing for your soul or your body. You are not able to reach to the higher self of your being. I truly believe that this is the most important part of any one's life. "You will be longer with yourself than anyone else" and you should love yourself enough for yourself.

Here are somethings just to remember:

*Smile each day, not only will it help you feel better, smiles are contagious.

*Look at yourself every day in the mirror and focus on all the wonderful qualities you possess, not just the superficial ones. It's funny how true the saying "Beauty is only skin deep". Everything on the top layer of your body; your skin, your nails, your hair, etc. is dead. We focus so much on external factors to enhance the "deadness" of our skin, and don't focus on the inner qualities. It's kind of funny, in a sad way. Why are we so focused on masking ourselves when in the end it doesn't matter?

It's not that I'm against makeup or jewelry or pretty clothes. I love it just as the next, and I'm super girly, but I don't agree that makeup should "mask" someone. It should be used to enhance our already beautiful features; female or male. But remember the characteristics you posses: your sweetness, your intelligence, you strength, your sense of self. It's so important that we focus on the inside, so that it will reflect love and beauty on the outside.

*Say affirmations to yourself every day. Start with something as simple as, "I am healthy, happy, and whole." (That was actually my first affirmation ever my mom told me to say once I wake up, through out my day, and once I go to bed.) And you can put whatever words together for your affirmations. What you say, your mind will believe. So instead of putting negative words into your mind and creating negativity inside of yourself; manifest love and light and positivity.

*Remember that were "Thoughts go, Energy flows". Do not allow dark energy to over power your soul. It's good to recognize the dark energy for what it is, but do not allow it to influence you. Yin and Yang.

*I believe that everyone has a soul mate out there, whether it be romantic or not. Never feel that suicide is the only option. You are here to find that soul mate and if you take your life, that person will be left to wander and wonder where you are.

*Your family loves you. Your mother, your father, your siblings, your grandparents, your cousins, your aunts and uncles. They love you indefinitely. You are so important to them, so special, such an important part of their life. You will always have family. They are the people who will always love you at your worst and at your best.

YOU MATTER.

YOU ARE THE MOST PERFECT YOU THAT IS OUT THERE.

YOU ARE LOVED.

I hope this helped anyone who may need some love and happiness in their life. <3

"The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all."
-Mulan

Family First and Growing Up

I always grew up with the words "family first" installed into my mind, though I can't say I always followed it, but I am so thankful that those words were. It resignated with me somewhere, and I can't put a pin point on when exactly it did.

My family is very family oriented-we know that you will always be considered family no matter what happens. Fact of the matter is that you are family. And I love my family above all else, equal to the point of my love for God and myself. They are my support system, my leaders, my followers, my friends, and the people I would do anything for.

I remember when the phrase was simply just another phrase to me. Like an idiom or something you hear "older folk" say when trying to teach the "younglings" a message. I remember either having my friends idolized before my family, or even boyfriends. When I look back on it now, I realize how completely balderdash I was being. People are always entering and leaving your life, and friends and boyfriends, or even girlfriends, can and will leave. Family will always stay. (If you have a "difficult" family relationship, I guess it can be hard to relate. They are family, though they may not act like it, and love you to the best of their abilities, I do believe. Even if some chemical imbalance is in the brain, I do believe that your family will love you the only way they know how. though they may not always show it.)

I am home now, and am so so happy to be home. When my mom and my love picked me up, I was filled with happiness and rushed to hug them both. We went out to breakfast at such a cute and nifty little place, shared stories and laughter, and then went home. It was a long drive, but I had so much fun! As soon as I came home, I hugged everyone and they were all excited to see me as well, all of us squealing and saying "I've missed you" and "So glad you're back". I was able to catch up on what was going on for everyone and tell them my tales.

I also got to give everyone a chair massage-which was well needed for what has been going on here-and they all were able to relax, telling me how good it felt and how proud they were of me.

After picking up groceries for Thanksgiving(so excited!!!) and then went to go see a girl friend of mine. I pulled up and she was just looking at my car like "who is that and why are they parking at my house?" But as soon as she saw me, we were both squealing like ten year old girls who just got their first Barbie Dream House set.

I arrived in a good time, and we talked about what was going on in our lives. She is still in High School, but it's her last year, and she is so ready to be done. I don't blame her, High School was not for me at all.And I told her all my crazy adventures of being off on my own and having to go through what I did. We are definitely going to hang out soon-I need my little partner in crime-and I may be able to get together with a few of my other girl friends from High School(I only had two friends who I hung out with on a regular basis after graduating but c'est la vie). So excited!

I have a week of reconnecting with my past. I'm so blessed. <3

Thanksgiving

This is my favorite holiday of the whole year. Not only do we all get to fill our bellies with delicious food and sleep after having that big platter of turkey and pumpkin and apple pie, but we get to spend time with our family!

I am a huge family girl and I always will be. And, as I've mentioned before, I'm in a completely different state then my family-6 HOURS away! I miss them so much and I have definitely stepped out of my comfort zone and I am ok with that. Being off on my own has made me discover my abilities and pushed me to do things that I am uncomfortable with. But I know that I can do what I want and what I need is already given to me. I am just so excited to finally be going home again and to be with the people I love most.

I think Thanksgiving is a time where people really understand what giving thanks means. Most holidays just seem to be about what I can get at the moment. With Halloween, it's to dress up, scare others, or get candy; with Christmas, it's about the amount of presents you get underneath the Christmas Tree, or what you can give to someone else while still being on a budget; with Valentines, it's about giving roses, or chocolate, or jewelry, or sexy sleepwear to your lover; with St Patrick's Day, it's about who can consume the most alcohol and still make it home with out being pulled over; with birthdays, it's, again, about the presents and being "queen/king" for the day; but with Thanksgiving, I really just see it as a time where people are able to go home, relax, have a beautiful meal, and be with family, giving thanks for what they have been provided with. It's about coming home to a warm fireplace, a feast being on the table-whether large or small-and being with your family, thankful that they and yourself are still alive to celebrate.

I have been counting down the days for this and I'm so excited! I'll be with my parents and siblings and grandparents and friends and people whom I love with all my heart. I'm just excited to have 5 days off of just being with them and catching up and staying together and just having fun. Telling them of my amazing journey out here on my own and what I have encountered. Hearing of the stories of their high school experiences and what has been going on at home. I'm so super excited!

I hope everyone has an amazing Thanksgiving and to remember that someone is thankful for you and all the happiness you bring to them. <3

Starting Another Chapter

I am ready to have a job again. It was nice not having to go to work and to just relax. Just having to take care of me. But being an adult comes with responsibilities, a lot of them having to do with money. And I am so ready to start making money again.

It is not cheap being off on your own. It is not cheap having to raise a family, and I am far from ready to do that. I'm still just a baby, and I need to be able to take care of myself in all aspects of life before I allow another person to live with me and start a family. But I am realizing a lot.

Life is not easy, but it's only as hard as we make it, for sure. I know my foundation, and I feel that someone is looking out for me. How could there not be someone who is? I have gone through so much to not believe so. And I am affirming that I will get somewhere with this job searching business by the end of this week.

There are a few possibilities, but ideally I would love working for a gym or somewhere with a spa or somewhere that incorporates living a healthy life-style. I want my life to be surrounded by things that I love and things that will lift me up. And while a lot of people are obsessed only with the money portion, I do not want to be caught up in that mindset. I know that I am prosperous and successful in my life and that where thoughts go, energy flows. I do truly believe that. With all my heart.

But, there needs to be steps taken. No one in life is going to just hand you anything. I've always had to work for what I wanted in life and what I want is to be successful, happy, and healthy. I will not settle with just doing average work. I know that I can do much better than that.

Going to talk to some people/companies tomorrow and my fingers are crossed! Also doing a charity benefit tomorrow night. So excited! My friend and I will be giving out chair massages to people during this event and I know it'll be a lot of fun! So excited!! I'm praying that  the snow holds up.

Not a big snow bunny girl. <3

"My daddy never did what he wanted. But he had what he needed. He had love. He never lost sight of what was really important. And neither will I."
-Tiana

Disney Look-Alike

I'm so excited-I think I found a job that I would love to do! And it is in the most magical place in the world and it would be perfect for me-loving to be a princess and loving the princess life.

Of course, this would all have to be after I finish school. Education is my number one priority and it always has been. I want to be successful with what I am doing, and I love that I am doing my passion now, at this age since I am still so young, and have so many things available to me at this age. They also have the same school that I'm attending down in Florida if need be, but transferring would not be the easiest of processes.

There's so many look a likes I could be. Of course, Snow White comes to mind with my dark hair and big blue eyes, but Belle would be very fun to be. My favorite princess of all times is Anastasia, but, unfortunately, she is not part of Disney. I wish that Disney adopted her, the movie is so beautiful and she is such a strong princess. Also that the movie is based on actual events is amazing! It really helped me in my History Class for Global Studies.

Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm just so excited!!!!!! I want to be a princess so badly and be a part of a place that has magic all around it-the happiest place in the world! Time to really hackle down to taking care of my body and life though. So exciting! I'm in such a good mood!

And to all  the princesses out there who would be interested in doing something like this, I say, go for it! Be a princess to the world! There's magic everywhere<3

"A dream is a wish your heart makes when it's fast asleep."
-Cinderella

Love

I love being in love. I love that feeling of butterflies you get when you're around that person, the sparks in the air you get when you kiss them, the goofy smile that appears on your face when you get a text from them, and the feeling of wanting to be wrapped in their arms all day and night.

Being in love is truly magical, it's what every prince and princess want in their lives at some point. Being loved and loving someone. Whether that be a man, woman, child, family member, animal, etc. Everyone craves it and everyone needs it. I do believe that love exists, for sure.

But relationships are tricky. They are not going to be perfect all the time. They require work-from both ends. Balance is key in every part of life. Not only a relationship with someone else, but even yourself. If you can't love yourself, how will you be able to fully love someone else? There needs to be love for your own self, so that when you find that other person, you will be able to share strengths and not have one be overly dependent on the other.

I have not been good with living this out in my life in previous relationships years past. I think this year was a turning point-and even then, I'm still learning. I've always fallen into the trap of making that other person my world. And that is incredibly not fulfilling at all and completely unhealthy. I remember bending over backwards for one boyfriend when I was younger, completely putting him first before my family or friends or even myself. How ridiculous is that? And I had to be in my early teens at that time and it was just so unfortunate to look at myself, knowing that I was abandoning my life for some guy who didn't even like me as much as I did him. He was off with other girls, doing his own thing, saying stuff and when it came to his actions it was a complete 180.

Another boy I was with, I remember that I found him actually at the time I broke it off with the guy I just spoke about. He was a very sweet guy, been through a lot and had a huge heart. And as strong as he made is exterior, he was just as brittle and unbalanced as me. We were together for a while, but it didn't last long before we looked for someone who could help to lift us up. I still think that he was a great guy, one of the few boyfriends that I have had who are a very good guy to be with, and I hope he's doing well.

I remember one incident, after the guy I had who I just spoke about, who completely changed me. I still have "quirks" with me because of how our paths came to be and I have come to terms with it just this year and to forgive him. They say the greatest strength is forgiveness, and I truly believe that with all my heart. He damaged me in ways that I would never wish upon any little girl-or anyone for that matter. It broke my heart and scarred me. I can not even put down into words just how much pain he put me through and how much I have had to overcome because of him. Though this was the first man I "fell for", he was the one who made me not believe in marriage. At least for myself. But the incident did teach me a lot.

After him. I fell into a deep darkness. I looked for the approval of men to be my happiness. The darkness lasted a while and I remember doing whatever it was to find ways of getting attention. Changing my wardrobe to be more frisky and my makeup to completely cover my face. I acted in a way that I knew would gain attention, and I thrived in it, so I thought.

The lessons became lessons only after I started doing some soul work. I remember, and as cliche as this sounds it's 100% true, I resorted to my faith. I resorted to my family and friends. I resorted to only positive motivators and teachers to help get me through those tough times. Of course, I had boyfriends, who helped lift me up, but they were short lived. Like I said, I still have some "quirks". But having all that as my support system really helped me believe in myself as me.

I'm still learning, I'm still growing. We all are and I think that will never stop. Love yourself first before getting into a relationship and make sure that they're is a balance. I once heard one person, "Don't refer to your relationship as a 'couple'. A couple means that they can not be separated. A relationship means that two people love themselves and each other that they can be together or separated".  and I love it and believe in it fully.

Be happy with the one you're with.

"Don't rush into love. Remember that even in fairytales, the happy endings take place on the last page."

Living As A Princess

I always wanted to be a princess. Ever since I was young and saw my first Disney Princess movie. My role models became the girls I saw in the movie; Cinderella, Jasmine, Ariel, Snow White, etc. Of course I've had different inspirations as times changed and I changed, but I've always wanted to be a princess. I honestly feel that every girl is the little princess they've always desired to be. We all just have different stories behind us.

 I've certainly have a story behind me, one that has helped to change me and mature me into the strong and beautiful woman I am today. Somethings I am not ready to share to the world, only to people that I meet personally and really feel that they will accept me for who I am, but other things I want to teach people so that they know that they are not alone. No one is alone, ever, no matter how dark times get.

 I actually started this because I want people to feel like they have someone who will support them and be there for them even if they feel they have no one to turn to. My heart goes out to all the beautiful females in the world, no matter what age. We are all strong and need to be united, we are blessed to be such beautiful creatures and we need to stand up for each other instead of tearing each other down. It's such a useless part of life, the jealousy and insecurities that we all go through. And it's so sad that we have to be careful of which females will lift us up, and which will tear us down. No princess would ever do that to another princess, so why do we?

 I've gone through many experiences and teachings in life. Trying to see how to be me and how to be what society deems as "beautiful". But it only matters how you see yourself because, in the long run, you are all you have. I've turned to a lot of sources for self discovery and self confidence, a huge one being YouTube. They're are such amazing people on there that have helped me and have no idea. Not only have they helped me, but I'm sure they have helped a bunch of other people.

Some amazing YouTubers that I love are:
*cloudyapples
*Michelle Phan
*Bubzbeauty
*lilisimply
*loeylane
*FullyRawKristina
*blndsundoll4mj
*zoella

Seriously, check them out. They are strong and confident women, with all different types of dispositions. All beautiful souls and amazing teachers.

My friends at Beauty School think it's so funny how infatuated I am in YouTube and they all love that quirky side to me. But YouTube has become kind of my safety net and I'm so excited to be confident enough to start one of my own.

I really want to help people, be a friend, because even in a world where we are surrounded by people, it can feel very lonely. As I said, ever princess has their story, and some really do need to be kick butt to be able to be where they are today.

The point of the title, as I get back on track, is just to describe me and how I see myself. Who actually gave me the nickname was my trainer and she called me princess because she knew that I loved kicking butt, but that I am very high maintenance. I love her and I love the nickname. I loved coming in with a full face that I put on before school, or with no make up on and ready to get going for the day. I am as sweet as Snow White, but as strong as Fiona. The nickname I love and I truly love living in a world of beauty and magic and a place where dreams do come true. <3

And if you want to check out my YouTube Channel, it's:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOphyt8CCfq-AEne-naohEA

"Even miracles take time."

-Cinderella