So this does apply primarily to being in a school full of women and feminine men, but this can be applied anywhere.
Women need to stop feeling so insecure about themselves and lashing out at other women. It is so ridiculous and so immature. I thought that these childish antics would end as women graduated from high school and entered out into the real world-but, from what I have observed, is that women still bring that "High School Mean Girl Mentality" into the real world and can be even more child like. Not to mention, it is really petty seeing grown women gossiping about a "friend", a coworker, or even a classmate just because they are so insecure in their own bodies that they have to bring down another women just to feel validated.
I'm not going to lie and say that I haven't done this, but I really do try to be more conscious of what I choose to talk about and who I am around. Everyone should just be happy with themselves. Honestly, every one is beautiful and unique and what isn't great about that? Just because someone looks differently than you, with whatever thought you may be thinking about them, doesn't make them any less beautiful or validated. And if you're doing that to women, do not be surprised when karma comes to bite you right in the booty.
Also how some women are just so needy and self centered and wanting of men's attention. And I get it, having a man attracted to you is flattering, yes, but it's not the most important thing in the world. A male's opinion of you really means nothing compared to you're own opinion of yourself. And when I had my guy friend come in today to get a massage and seeing how all these women immediately started becoming infatuated with him really disgusted me and embarrassed me.
They were talking in such a vulgar and immature way. Saying how "nice his ass looked" and what his name was and how old he was. And most of these women either have boyfriends and kids or are married with kids. It honestly just disgusted me as I was being pressed for questions. Just how did it become that women feel like every man in the universe has to be so focused on them solely for the purpose of feeling good about themselves? And why use such terms about male's body parts in such a nasty way. They made the body just seem like an object.
One of my friends was like, "I just want to massage men now. I like their bodies better and I hate women." It's like, "Sweetheart, stop it. This may be why you have such insecurities about the relationships in your life. Stop it." I love her like a sister, but it just really urked me when she said that and I knew that it was because she loves the attention. It's so sad.
I am just becoming really bothered by more things I am seeing, hearing, reading, and experiencing. This really makes me feel almost disgusted by my own gender in general. And I know that not all women are like this, and I truly appreciate the beautiful women that are not, but how the majority of women are going is really disturbing and inappropriate and are setting up horrible role model material for younger women.
Thursday, January 22, 2015
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
New Years!
I'm so excited for the year 2015, 2014 has been such an amazing year and I can only imagine that it is going to get better and better! I have a few resolutions for which I want to see myself accomplish this year that I may not have this year, or that I have been inspired since.
1) To work my way into a vegan lifestyle-I'm so excited for this since last year I did it, but did not stay on the wagon for whatever reason and that I am now settled in my new life for the moment, I feel that it will be easier.
2) Grow my hair out naturally and take very good care of it, try to stay away from doing anything with it involving color-which may be a bit of a challenge because being enrolled in this program and seeing all the different hair styles and colors, I just want to try everything! Also to avoid heat. I love my straightener, but I love my hair more and want my hair to stay around a lot longer.
3) Make new friends while I'm up here-people who share interests that are similar with mine.
4) Improve my body-I want to be able to run at least 2 miles without having to stop; I want to see my acne be cleared; I want to be able to use 20lbs dumbbells when I work out; and I want to see myself having at least 15 minutes of meditation or yoga a night.
5) Make an income that I will be able to control to help me be able to do what is necessary and have some extra to pamper myself once or twice a month.
6) Smile more!
I'm so excited to see what this year has in store. I'm sure that something great is going to happen. And what better way to start off the New Year than by getting a head start?
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. With or without snow. As long as you were surrounded by people you love and who love you, I would say that that right there is all you should need for Christmas to happen.
Peace and good tidings!
"Sometimes you have to believe before you can see."
-Fairy Godmother
1) To work my way into a vegan lifestyle-I'm so excited for this since last year I did it, but did not stay on the wagon for whatever reason and that I am now settled in my new life for the moment, I feel that it will be easier.
2) Grow my hair out naturally and take very good care of it, try to stay away from doing anything with it involving color-which may be a bit of a challenge because being enrolled in this program and seeing all the different hair styles and colors, I just want to try everything! Also to avoid heat. I love my straightener, but I love my hair more and want my hair to stay around a lot longer.
3) Make new friends while I'm up here-people who share interests that are similar with mine.
4) Improve my body-I want to be able to run at least 2 miles without having to stop; I want to see my acne be cleared; I want to be able to use 20lbs dumbbells when I work out; and I want to see myself having at least 15 minutes of meditation or yoga a night.
5) Make an income that I will be able to control to help me be able to do what is necessary and have some extra to pamper myself once or twice a month.
6) Smile more!
I'm so excited to see what this year has in store. I'm sure that something great is going to happen. And what better way to start off the New Year than by getting a head start?
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. With or without snow. As long as you were surrounded by people you love and who love you, I would say that that right there is all you should need for Christmas to happen.
Peace and good tidings!
"Sometimes you have to believe before you can see."
-Fairy Godmother
Thursday, December 11, 2014
Dating 101
I hope everyone who is dealing with snow is doing ok. Be careful and stay warm!
So I posted a video up a few days ago called Dating 101 (Remake): appealing to the 5 Senses. My inspiration was from one of the first YouTuber's I ever started watching. And I loved what she had to say and what she wanted to do for people watching her videos. She was a curvier woman and I guess that's why I felt comfort in her.
I was heavy growing up. So seeing a curvy woman who was so confident with herself really inspired me to have some confidence in myself, especially when it came to men. The only thing that I did not really admire about her videos was that she did all this specifically for men. And I'm not saying you shouldn't be sexy for your man, you can, but you should be ding it for you as well.
Now that I look back on it, my soul priority for achieving self-confidence, was through the approval of men for my physical self. It was bad enough that I wanted to get men's approval, but it was even worse that I went about it in a physical and sexual sense. I just had such low self esteem at the time that I used sexual appeal as my advantage.
Sex will always be in. It will always be the "it girl". And it's so unfortunate that society and the media and people have placed it at such a high standard that people need to give in order to achieve something or someone. It's even worse when people pray on victims because of these animal needs that they let get so out of hand.
So this is just a one video that I may start a collection out of. Hoping to maybe inspire some females into feeling better about themselves!<3
Sorry the picture of the video made me look so silly!!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=82RwGMf_tYg&feature=youtu.be
So I posted a video up a few days ago called Dating 101 (Remake): appealing to the 5 Senses. My inspiration was from one of the first YouTuber's I ever started watching. And I loved what she had to say and what she wanted to do for people watching her videos. She was a curvier woman and I guess that's why I felt comfort in her.
I was heavy growing up. So seeing a curvy woman who was so confident with herself really inspired me to have some confidence in myself, especially when it came to men. The only thing that I did not really admire about her videos was that she did all this specifically for men. And I'm not saying you shouldn't be sexy for your man, you can, but you should be ding it for you as well.
Now that I look back on it, my soul priority for achieving self-confidence, was through the approval of men for my physical self. It was bad enough that I wanted to get men's approval, but it was even worse that I went about it in a physical and sexual sense. I just had such low self esteem at the time that I used sexual appeal as my advantage.
Sex will always be in. It will always be the "it girl". And it's so unfortunate that society and the media and people have placed it at such a high standard that people need to give in order to achieve something or someone. It's even worse when people pray on victims because of these animal needs that they let get so out of hand.
So this is just a one video that I may start a collection out of. Hoping to maybe inspire some females into feeling better about themselves!<3
Sorry the picture of the video made me look so silly!!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=82RwGMf_tYg&feature=youtu.be
Saturday, December 6, 2014
You Are Loved!
This is just a post for any one out there who is feeling kind of low and/or lonely this holiday season.<3
You are so loved! Each and every day, be thankful that you are still alive, that you can live another day. We take the little things in life for granted, but someday, we will realize the little things in life are the biggest gifts.
Think of your family, think of your friends, think of yourself. You are cared about by so many people.
Self love is crucial, and so many of us do not cultivate it within ourselves. Every inch of you is perfectly unique and special and beautiful. Do you know how much your body does to keep you alive and moving each day? It does so many things to make sure that you are taken care of and that you are safe and functioning and healthy. You should appreciate every inch of you, every perfectly created part of you. Self harm does nothing for your soul or your body. You are not able to reach to the higher self of your being. I truly believe that this is the most important part of any one's life. "You will be longer with yourself than anyone else" and you should love yourself enough for yourself.
Here are somethings just to remember:
*Smile each day, not only will it help you feel better, smiles are contagious.
*Look at yourself every day in the mirror and focus on all the wonderful qualities you possess, not just the superficial ones. It's funny how true the saying "Beauty is only skin deep". Everything on the top layer of your body; your skin, your nails, your hair, etc. is dead. We focus so much on external factors to enhance the "deadness" of our skin, and don't focus on the inner qualities. It's kind of funny, in a sad way. Why are we so focused on masking ourselves when in the end it doesn't matter?
It's not that I'm against makeup or jewelry or pretty clothes. I love it just as the next, and I'm super girly, but I don't agree that makeup should "mask" someone. It should be used to enhance our already beautiful features; female or male. But remember the characteristics you posses: your sweetness, your intelligence, you strength, your sense of self. It's so important that we focus on the inside, so that it will reflect love and beauty on the outside.
*Say affirmations to yourself every day. Start with something as simple as, "I am healthy, happy, and whole." (That was actually my first affirmation ever my mom told me to say once I wake up, through out my day, and once I go to bed.) And you can put whatever words together for your affirmations. What you say, your mind will believe. So instead of putting negative words into your mind and creating negativity inside of yourself; manifest love and light and positivity.
*Remember that were "Thoughts go, Energy flows". Do not allow dark energy to over power your soul. It's good to recognize the dark energy for what it is, but do not allow it to influence you. Yin and Yang.
*I believe that everyone has a soul mate out there, whether it be romantic or not. Never feel that suicide is the only option. You are here to find that soul mate and if you take your life, that person will be left to wander and wonder where you are.
*Your family loves you. Your mother, your father, your siblings, your grandparents, your cousins, your aunts and uncles. They love you indefinitely. You are so important to them, so special, such an important part of their life. You will always have family. They are the people who will always love you at your worst and at your best.
YOU MATTER.
YOU ARE THE MOST PERFECT YOU THAT IS OUT THERE.
YOU ARE LOVED.
I hope this helped anyone who may need some love and happiness in their life. <3
"The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all."
-Mulan
You are so loved! Each and every day, be thankful that you are still alive, that you can live another day. We take the little things in life for granted, but someday, we will realize the little things in life are the biggest gifts.
Think of your family, think of your friends, think of yourself. You are cared about by so many people.
Self love is crucial, and so many of us do not cultivate it within ourselves. Every inch of you is perfectly unique and special and beautiful. Do you know how much your body does to keep you alive and moving each day? It does so many things to make sure that you are taken care of and that you are safe and functioning and healthy. You should appreciate every inch of you, every perfectly created part of you. Self harm does nothing for your soul or your body. You are not able to reach to the higher self of your being. I truly believe that this is the most important part of any one's life. "You will be longer with yourself than anyone else" and you should love yourself enough for yourself.
Here are somethings just to remember:
*Smile each day, not only will it help you feel better, smiles are contagious.
*Look at yourself every day in the mirror and focus on all the wonderful qualities you possess, not just the superficial ones. It's funny how true the saying "Beauty is only skin deep". Everything on the top layer of your body; your skin, your nails, your hair, etc. is dead. We focus so much on external factors to enhance the "deadness" of our skin, and don't focus on the inner qualities. It's kind of funny, in a sad way. Why are we so focused on masking ourselves when in the end it doesn't matter?
It's not that I'm against makeup or jewelry or pretty clothes. I love it just as the next, and I'm super girly, but I don't agree that makeup should "mask" someone. It should be used to enhance our already beautiful features; female or male. But remember the characteristics you posses: your sweetness, your intelligence, you strength, your sense of self. It's so important that we focus on the inside, so that it will reflect love and beauty on the outside.
*Say affirmations to yourself every day. Start with something as simple as, "I am healthy, happy, and whole." (That was actually my first affirmation ever my mom told me to say once I wake up, through out my day, and once I go to bed.) And you can put whatever words together for your affirmations. What you say, your mind will believe. So instead of putting negative words into your mind and creating negativity inside of yourself; manifest love and light and positivity.
*Remember that were "Thoughts go, Energy flows". Do not allow dark energy to over power your soul. It's good to recognize the dark energy for what it is, but do not allow it to influence you. Yin and Yang.
*I believe that everyone has a soul mate out there, whether it be romantic or not. Never feel that suicide is the only option. You are here to find that soul mate and if you take your life, that person will be left to wander and wonder where you are.
*Your family loves you. Your mother, your father, your siblings, your grandparents, your cousins, your aunts and uncles. They love you indefinitely. You are so important to them, so special, such an important part of their life. You will always have family. They are the people who will always love you at your worst and at your best.
YOU MATTER.
YOU ARE THE MOST PERFECT YOU THAT IS OUT THERE.
YOU ARE LOVED.
I hope this helped anyone who may need some love and happiness in their life. <3
"The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all."
-Mulan
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Family First and Growing Up
I always grew up with the words "family first" installed into my mind, though I can't say I always followed it, but I am so thankful that those words were. It resignated with me somewhere, and I can't put a pin point on when exactly it did.
My family is very family oriented-we know that you will always be considered family no matter what happens. Fact of the matter is that you are family. And I love my family above all else, equal to the point of my love for God and myself. They are my support system, my leaders, my followers, my friends, and the people I would do anything for.
I remember when the phrase was simply just another phrase to me. Like an idiom or something you hear "older folk" say when trying to teach the "younglings" a message. I remember either having my friends idolized before my family, or even boyfriends. When I look back on it now, I realize how completely balderdash I was being. People are always entering and leaving your life, and friends and boyfriends, or even girlfriends, can and will leave. Family will always stay. (If you have a "difficult" family relationship, I guess it can be hard to relate. They are family, though they may not act like it, and love you to the best of their abilities, I do believe. Even if some chemical imbalance is in the brain, I do believe that your family will love you the only way they know how. though they may not always show it.)
I am home now, and am so so happy to be home. When my mom and my love picked me up, I was filled with happiness and rushed to hug them both. We went out to breakfast at such a cute and nifty little place, shared stories and laughter, and then went home. It was a long drive, but I had so much fun! As soon as I came home, I hugged everyone and they were all excited to see me as well, all of us squealing and saying "I've missed you" and "So glad you're back". I was able to catch up on what was going on for everyone and tell them my tales.
I also got to give everyone a chair massage-which was well needed for what has been going on here-and they all were able to relax, telling me how good it felt and how proud they were of me.
After picking up groceries for Thanksgiving(so excited!!!) and then went to go see a girl friend of mine. I pulled up and she was just looking at my car like "who is that and why are they parking at my house?" But as soon as she saw me, we were both squealing like ten year old girls who just got their first Barbie Dream House set.
I arrived in a good time, and we talked about what was going on in our lives. She is still in High School, but it's her last year, and she is so ready to be done. I don't blame her, High School was not for me at all.And I told her all my crazy adventures of being off on my own and having to go through what I did. We are definitely going to hang out soon-I need my little partner in crime-and I may be able to get together with a few of my other girl friends from High School(I only had two friends who I hung out with on a regular basis after graduating but c'est la vie). So excited!
I have a week of reconnecting with my past. I'm so blessed. <3
My family is very family oriented-we know that you will always be considered family no matter what happens. Fact of the matter is that you are family. And I love my family above all else, equal to the point of my love for God and myself. They are my support system, my leaders, my followers, my friends, and the people I would do anything for.
I remember when the phrase was simply just another phrase to me. Like an idiom or something you hear "older folk" say when trying to teach the "younglings" a message. I remember either having my friends idolized before my family, or even boyfriends. When I look back on it now, I realize how completely balderdash I was being. People are always entering and leaving your life, and friends and boyfriends, or even girlfriends, can and will leave. Family will always stay. (If you have a "difficult" family relationship, I guess it can be hard to relate. They are family, though they may not act like it, and love you to the best of their abilities, I do believe. Even if some chemical imbalance is in the brain, I do believe that your family will love you the only way they know how. though they may not always show it.)
I am home now, and am so so happy to be home. When my mom and my love picked me up, I was filled with happiness and rushed to hug them both. We went out to breakfast at such a cute and nifty little place, shared stories and laughter, and then went home. It was a long drive, but I had so much fun! As soon as I came home, I hugged everyone and they were all excited to see me as well, all of us squealing and saying "I've missed you" and "So glad you're back". I was able to catch up on what was going on for everyone and tell them my tales.
I also got to give everyone a chair massage-which was well needed for what has been going on here-and they all were able to relax, telling me how good it felt and how proud they were of me.
After picking up groceries for Thanksgiving(so excited!!!) and then went to go see a girl friend of mine. I pulled up and she was just looking at my car like "who is that and why are they parking at my house?" But as soon as she saw me, we were both squealing like ten year old girls who just got their first Barbie Dream House set.
I arrived in a good time, and we talked about what was going on in our lives. She is still in High School, but it's her last year, and she is so ready to be done. I don't blame her, High School was not for me at all.And I told her all my crazy adventures of being off on my own and having to go through what I did. We are definitely going to hang out soon-I need my little partner in crime-and I may be able to get together with a few of my other girl friends from High School(I only had two friends who I hung out with on a regular basis after graduating but c'est la vie). So excited!
I have a week of reconnecting with my past. I'm so blessed. <3
Saturday, November 22, 2014
Thanksgiving
This is my favorite holiday of the whole year. Not only do we all get to fill our bellies with delicious food and sleep after having that big platter of turkey and pumpkin and apple pie, but we get to spend time with our family!
I am a huge family girl and I always will be. And, as I've mentioned before, I'm in a completely different state then my family-6 HOURS away! I miss them so much and I have definitely stepped out of my comfort zone and I am ok with that. Being off on my own has made me discover my abilities and pushed me to do things that I am uncomfortable with. But I know that I can do what I want and what I need is already given to me. I am just so excited to finally be going home again and to be with the people I love most.
I think Thanksgiving is a time where people really understand what giving thanks means. Most holidays just seem to be about what I can get at the moment. With Halloween, it's to dress up, scare others, or get candy; with Christmas, it's about the amount of presents you get underneath the Christmas Tree, or what you can give to someone else while still being on a budget; with Valentines, it's about giving roses, or chocolate, or jewelry, or sexy sleepwear to your lover; with St Patrick's Day, it's about who can consume the most alcohol and still make it home with out being pulled over; with birthdays, it's, again, about the presents and being "queen/king" for the day; but with Thanksgiving, I really just see it as a time where people are able to go home, relax, have a beautiful meal, and be with family, giving thanks for what they have been provided with. It's about coming home to a warm fireplace, a feast being on the table-whether large or small-and being with your family, thankful that they and yourself are still alive to celebrate.
I have been counting down the days for this and I'm so excited! I'll be with my parents and siblings and grandparents and friends and people whom I love with all my heart. I'm just excited to have 5 days off of just being with them and catching up and staying together and just having fun. Telling them of my amazing journey out here on my own and what I have encountered. Hearing of the stories of their high school experiences and what has been going on at home. I'm so super excited!
I hope everyone has an amazing Thanksgiving and to remember that someone is thankful for you and all the happiness you bring to them. <3
I am a huge family girl and I always will be. And, as I've mentioned before, I'm in a completely different state then my family-6 HOURS away! I miss them so much and I have definitely stepped out of my comfort zone and I am ok with that. Being off on my own has made me discover my abilities and pushed me to do things that I am uncomfortable with. But I know that I can do what I want and what I need is already given to me. I am just so excited to finally be going home again and to be with the people I love most.
I think Thanksgiving is a time where people really understand what giving thanks means. Most holidays just seem to be about what I can get at the moment. With Halloween, it's to dress up, scare others, or get candy; with Christmas, it's about the amount of presents you get underneath the Christmas Tree, or what you can give to someone else while still being on a budget; with Valentines, it's about giving roses, or chocolate, or jewelry, or sexy sleepwear to your lover; with St Patrick's Day, it's about who can consume the most alcohol and still make it home with out being pulled over; with birthdays, it's, again, about the presents and being "queen/king" for the day; but with Thanksgiving, I really just see it as a time where people are able to go home, relax, have a beautiful meal, and be with family, giving thanks for what they have been provided with. It's about coming home to a warm fireplace, a feast being on the table-whether large or small-and being with your family, thankful that they and yourself are still alive to celebrate.
I have been counting down the days for this and I'm so excited! I'll be with my parents and siblings and grandparents and friends and people whom I love with all my heart. I'm just excited to have 5 days off of just being with them and catching up and staying together and just having fun. Telling them of my amazing journey out here on my own and what I have encountered. Hearing of the stories of their high school experiences and what has been going on at home. I'm so super excited!
I hope everyone has an amazing Thanksgiving and to remember that someone is thankful for you and all the happiness you bring to them. <3
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Starting Another Chapter
I am ready to have a job again. It was nice not having to go to work and to just relax. Just having to take care of me. But being an adult comes with responsibilities, a lot of them having to do with money. And I am so ready to start making money again.
It is not cheap being off on your own. It is not cheap having to raise a family, and I am far from ready to do that. I'm still just a baby, and I need to be able to take care of myself in all aspects of life before I allow another person to live with me and start a family. But I am realizing a lot.
Life is not easy, but it's only as hard as we make it, for sure. I know my foundation, and I feel that someone is looking out for me. How could there not be someone who is? I have gone through so much to not believe so. And I am affirming that I will get somewhere with this job searching business by the end of this week.
There are a few possibilities, but ideally I would love working for a gym or somewhere with a spa or somewhere that incorporates living a healthy life-style. I want my life to be surrounded by things that I love and things that will lift me up. And while a lot of people are obsessed only with the money portion, I do not want to be caught up in that mindset. I know that I am prosperous and successful in my life and that where thoughts go, energy flows. I do truly believe that. With all my heart.
But, there needs to be steps taken. No one in life is going to just hand you anything. I've always had to work for what I wanted in life and what I want is to be successful, happy, and healthy. I will not settle with just doing average work. I know that I can do much better than that.
Going to talk to some people/companies tomorrow and my fingers are crossed! Also doing a charity benefit tomorrow night. So excited! My friend and I will be giving out chair massages to people during this event and I know it'll be a lot of fun! So excited!! I'm praying that the snow holds up.
Not a big snow bunny girl. <3
"My daddy never did what he wanted. But he had what he needed. He had love. He never lost sight of what was really important. And neither will I."
-Tiana
It is not cheap being off on your own. It is not cheap having to raise a family, and I am far from ready to do that. I'm still just a baby, and I need to be able to take care of myself in all aspects of life before I allow another person to live with me and start a family. But I am realizing a lot.
Life is not easy, but it's only as hard as we make it, for sure. I know my foundation, and I feel that someone is looking out for me. How could there not be someone who is? I have gone through so much to not believe so. And I am affirming that I will get somewhere with this job searching business by the end of this week.
There are a few possibilities, but ideally I would love working for a gym or somewhere with a spa or somewhere that incorporates living a healthy life-style. I want my life to be surrounded by things that I love and things that will lift me up. And while a lot of people are obsessed only with the money portion, I do not want to be caught up in that mindset. I know that I am prosperous and successful in my life and that where thoughts go, energy flows. I do truly believe that. With all my heart.
But, there needs to be steps taken. No one in life is going to just hand you anything. I've always had to work for what I wanted in life and what I want is to be successful, happy, and healthy. I will not settle with just doing average work. I know that I can do much better than that.
Going to talk to some people/companies tomorrow and my fingers are crossed! Also doing a charity benefit tomorrow night. So excited! My friend and I will be giving out chair massages to people during this event and I know it'll be a lot of fun! So excited!! I'm praying that the snow holds up.
Not a big snow bunny girl. <3
"My daddy never did what he wanted. But he had what he needed. He had love. He never lost sight of what was really important. And neither will I."
-Tiana
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